Cradle Catholic

I was raised Catholic, went to Catholic school elementary through high school. I experienced a lot of the classic Catholic school horrors...discipline by fear and intimidation. In spite of it all, I did learn to read, even got in trouble in first grade for reading ahead in my reader.

I don't go to church every Sunday in spite of the threat of eternal hellfire for missing Mass. I did go today.

After all this time I'm not really sure if I believe in it all or not. Richard had a very strong faith and I was glad because it helped him at the end of his illness. He joined the church after we had kids. He didn't grow up with any religion. I had to pay $5.00 for permission to marry him in my church because he was not baptized. I don't know if they still have that rule.

I usually find some comfort in the ritual of the Mass. Today it made me sad. I kept getting mental images of Richard's face in the last minutes after he died, I don't know why. Some days I just can't get thoughts like that out of my head. The grieving goes on...